Toxic masculinity is a breeding ground for Christian Nationalism in the United States. As we look and reflect about Christian Nationalism in America, identifying the problem is only the first step. The second step that we must do is seek to understand why it exists and the third step is to develop and advocate for an alternative path forward.
I believe, to address the growing threat of Christian Nationalism, we need to address toxic masculinity in our communities. At the extreme, toxic masculinity justifies men who feel rejected by women in lashing out violently for the perceived violation of their ‘god-given rights’ to women’s bodies. Toxic masculinity is also a likely main contributor to the mass shootings that are all too commonplace in the United States.
Traits of toxic masculinity include:
Extreme Self-reliance
Avoidance of emotional expression
Physical, sexual, intellectual dominance
Devaluation of women
Condemning affection between men and further isolating ourselves.
Christian Nationalism emphasizes ‘traditional’ gender roles, physical strength of men, and men’s superiority for leadership over women. The term “Alpha Males” is frequently used to refer to dominant and strong men who limit their emotion and are harsh and judgmental toward others who are ‘weak’. Men are taught to have a body like Chris Hemsworth in the Thor movies - (even though his wife didn’t find this look attractive). Media often portrays the ideal ‘masculine’ form as what men perceive women want instead of what many women actually want. (ie. the rise of the dad bod).
Toxic masculinity’s emphasis on extreme self-reliance often leaves men isolated and craving community. Men also suppress their emotions until it boils out in anger. Bottled up emotions and a desire for community is why the Christian Nationalist movement is filled with white men.
real men cry
“You turned my wailing into dancing;
you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy,
that my heart may sing your praises and not be silent.
Lord my God, I will praise you forever.”
Throughout Scripture, we have accounts of faithful people (including men) overcome with emotion. It is not frowned upon but lifted up about the power of community and God’s love.
During the Democratic National Convention (DNC) many people noticed Governor Walz’s (D-MN) son, Gus, crying and cheering for his dad. We saw Christian nationalist respond with harsh critique of Gus and Gov. Walz such as what Jay Weber posted.
While this is absolutely offensive (and Weber did eventually apologize), those coming to defend Gus still responded from a position that is grounded in toxic masculinity - highlighting how pervasive it is in our society. In responses to attacks, supporters of Gus centered the fact that Gus Walz is neurodivergent.
So what? Yes, people with different neurodivergent conditions often process and express emotion differently. But the reality is Gus’ emotion doesn’t need an explanation. His feelings and emotion are valid. They don’t need an explanation. They don’t need justified or explained away. Boys are allowed to shed tears of joy or sadness.
we need to express emotions:
The reality is all people need avenues to have emotional highs and lows. The roller coaster of emotion is actually part of how our brain chemistry is supposed to work. With the toxic masculinity of our world, men and boys are told to bottle up their emotions, which can result in angry and violent outbursts, domestic violence, impede social relationships, impact physical health and much more.
While men’s emotions are highly limited in American society, there is one area where men are allowed to express strong emotion.
Sports
I cried when the Cleveland Cavs - a team I have followed since the late 1980s - won their first championship in 2016. I felt decades of anticipation just wash out of my body as I watched the final game at my pastor’s house with a community of friends. The culture of sports offers men (and others) two things:
A space to allow strong emotions (joy, anticipation, hope, frustration, anxiety).
A community that validates our emotions because we experience them together.
An easy-to-understand world (the rules of the game)
Common enemies… (We aren’t even allowed to say the name of…That Team Up North.)
White Christian Nationalism offers:
A framework for emotions such as anxiety, fear, and inadequacy to be processed
Promises community
Offers easy-to-understand solutions to the complexities of the world
Offers Easy to identify ‘enemies’
The similarities are striking…
Economic Fear in silence
Anecdotally, many men that I know who are on the verge of falling into the White Christian Nationalist culture have very real anxieties and fears that need to be validated. Most of their emotion stems from the economy, because their identity is tied up in success, employment, and ‘being a provider’. The economy is tough. Many men grow up with the image of Homer Simpson (or other pop culture and family references) able to support his family on his single income with little to no education. Because many men cannot achieve this level of economic stability, there are feelings of inadequacy, failure, and fear.
The problem is the shifting economy has shrunk the middle class and many men feel left behind. While women only hold 14% of executive positions, women now make up 46% of union jobs in 2023, compared to only 35% in 1983. With the decline of the union-made middle class over the past 40 years, the lost union jobs are largely male dominated sectors ( such as manufacturing) while women dominated union jobs in social services, healthcare and education are still dominant.
However, many men do not feel they have a place to talk about their anxiety or feelings of inadequacy. Even now, as a parent, our PTA and volunteer opportunities to interact with other parents are primarily moms and women. These natural spaces for mutual support are often lacking for men. Christian Nationalist rhetoric blames feminism, immigrants, and ‘intellectuals’ for men’s struggle. (Sadly these scapegoats ignore the real cause behind the shrinking middle class - corporate greed). Christian nationalism turns very real anxiety over economic insecurity into an emotional response of anger, and like with sports, builds a community around a shared emotional response that can be directed to do harm to minority communities.
A way forward:
We need both cultural and public policy changes to address the toxicity in masculinity that becomes a breeding ground for Christian Nationalism. Here are a few ideas:
Educate Children better: We should strengthen Social Emotional Learning (SEL) in our k-12 schools to better equip all children - especially young boys on how to handle and process their emotions in a more healthy fashion. It isn’t a surprise that the predominant characteristic of a mass shooter is a white male. We can encourage young boys to read and learn about women. For a long time, it is acceptable for girls to be into ‘boy’ things, but boys are still mocked if they are into ‘girl’ things.
Pro-family policies: We need more public policies that uplift anyone who stays home and care for children or other family. Family and medical leave should be equal, regardless of gender or family structure.
Uplift Women’s success and leadership: People of different genders and different experiences have different leadership styles as a result. This diversity strengthens our community. The ‘alpha male’ leadership style is not the best way to lead. Successful women should not be only celebrated by moms showcasing their story to little girls, but by fathers to all their children.
Men, be emotional: Own our own vulnerability, weaknesses, and shortcomings. It is okay to cry because you had a bad day or are stressed out. Men, we can also lean into joy and shed tears and dance. Men must also be open to forming male to male attachment that is deeper than conversations about our fantasy football teams or when the Browns will finally win a Super Bowl.
Build up the promise of a joyful new community: Begin to live into a the hope of a community and world that celebrates diversity, joy, and hope. This summer we saw LeBron James, one of the most famous athletes at the Olympics attend women’s volleyball with his family, but leaned into the midwestern dad vibe 100% by not only cheering on women athletes but also embarrassing his daughter by dancing and laughing and having fun. LeBron leaned into joy.